what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
