Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
