why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
