This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he laminated a picture of his dick.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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