How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
