yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
