pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Alive.
So much puke
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
