Will you blow on my dice?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
