whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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