I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
