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you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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