that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
