I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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