I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
