he looks like a really good dad on facebook
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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