It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
