how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
