i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
so much tequila, so little girl.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
