Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
