oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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