He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
