I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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