when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Fuck appropriateness.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
