You can't motorboat a personality
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
