While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
