I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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