i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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