That's intense
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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