her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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