I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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