Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
