You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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