So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
