she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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