My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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