he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
