Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
