porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
