My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
