wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
