So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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