your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
