Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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