I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
