YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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