his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
