so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
