Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just threw up on my dentist
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
