Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
