the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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