Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
